Exposing the Inner Critic Monster!
What does happiness mean to you? And most importantly, which thoughts snatch away your happiness?
The inner critic is a strong contender for the top position of “Joy Robber.” The inner critic, or this prominent “Joy Robber”, is directly positioned to aim missiles at your sense of well-being and peace. It is a well-integrated pattern of thoughts with the potential to disrupt your progress and stop you from achieving success. These “joy-robbing” thoughts beat us up daily and influence our success and our relationships with ourselves, others, and God. The inner critic is simply a bad habit that most people share- it is so entrenched in our thinking that we don’t consider challenging it.
They are often the result of a lifetime of mixed messages—acceptance and rejection by significant people, critical comments that get stuck in our thoughts, allowed to dwell rent-free and comparisons that we readily make through our constant exposure to media and perceived perfection of the lives of others.
Some common “Joy Robbers” include thoughts like “You are stupid,” “You’re not as attractive as others,” or “You’re too defective to be loved.”
Take a moment to consider your thoughts. Jot down some of the positive and negative ideas running through your head. Are you afraid that others will see these flaws?
Let’s go to war! Let’s take up arms against these “Joy Robbers!”
When we consider scripture and all that it says about God’s great love for humanity and us personally, perhaps it is time to take up arms against this “Joy-Robber.” To say no to what steals our peace and joy and yes to good and positive thoughts that align with God’s Word. To take up arms against this enemy requires stealth and endurance because the enemy has been active for years. It needs to be exposed and strongly targeted with opposing thoughts.
The first line of defence is to “recognise”. Note and write down the inner critic voices as they aim and fire. It is easier to be objective when seeing things written down on paper. What kind of words are we using about ourselves? But also, as importantly, what kind of feelings do we have about ourselves? Are your thoughts and feelings repetitively negative? Are you fearful that others will notice the deficiencies you have? Do you think of ways to hide your flaws to avoid exposure?
The second step is to be realistic about yourself. Are there areas that you could improve on? Perhaps you could seek more education or even lose weight if necessary. But most importantly, are your words kind in this assessment? Do you speak kindly to yourself as you would to your child or best friend as you consider the validity of your thoughts? Some things may need to change to improve, but there is a difference between recognising potential growth areas and piling on shame. When the changes are recognised, and you have made steps towards improvement; you can turn your focus to resist the negative thoughts needing adjustment. The thoughts that steal your peace and joy, the thoughts that don’t align with God’s view of you, His creation.
Finally, replace the negative thoughts with the positive words of an inner coach or with the truth found in scripture. Words that accept and validate you on your journey. Words that realise that we aren’t perfect but that we are doing the best we can as we lean on God to help us make our way forward. Words that speak of grace, acceptance, and love for ourselves. Words that encourage and move us forward, not hold us back and remind us of times when we weren’t enough. Sometimes, we need to note these soft, kind words and remind ourselves with sticky notes on the bathroom mirror or a journal with entries of scripture expressing how God sees us and how much He loves us and accepts us through the cross.
Take the time to analyse your thoughts and decide to take up arms against the Joy Robbers! Say no to what steals your peace and joy and yes to good and positive thoughts that align with God’s Word.