Do your emotions seem extreme to you or others around you? Are you overwhelmed by your feelings at times?
Many people believe that they are slaves to their emotions, and they assume that once feelings erupt, they have no choice but to embrace them and allow their behaviours to be affected.
Some squash down their feelings and others let them out, sometimes in the wrong contexts. Perhaps there is a different way to respond to emotions. To work with them, not against them and alleviate mental and relational challenges. At times our emotions can be volatile, which can cause us to feel overwhelmed and burdened with unwanted stress. It's important to remember that our emotions are signals pointing to something that needs our attention. Life can fly past us, so we don't always go back to look at and unpack the emotional reaction properly. Learning to master your emotions is essential for general maturity and relational well-being. You don't need to be controlled by your emotions; there are ways to master your emotions. In this blog, I propose a few crucial considerations about feelings which point us towards personal victory and greater peace in all aspects of our lives.
Pause for a second, and think quickly about times when you have been overwhelmed with emotions such as fear, anger or envy. Can you look at the situation and emotion objectively, without judgement, and see all the possibilities? Use this feeling or example and try to action some of the steps we discuss below. You never know what revelation might come out of this process of slowing down, to look a little closer.
When thinking about how to master emotions, we should consider the source of our feelings. For example, reframing or healing is needed to remove the emotions' sting when feelings stem from or are rooted in past painful memories. Similarly, patterns of behaviour rooted in memories need to be recognised and changed, possibly with the help of a specialist. Then, with proper guidance, we can easily identify these patterns and decide to change them.
Let's consider a few possibilities…
Recognise that you can have victory over your emotions
Some people believe that they have no control over their feelings. Possibly they are so intense that it is inconceivable that they could have victory and peace within the storm. But, just because you have experienced failure in the past doesn't mean it will be for your future. We can all learn and grow. That is how God created us!
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27 NKJV
“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you”. 1 Peter 5:7 NKJV
It's helpful to question the emotions
Secondly, it is helpful to start questioning our emotions. Note down the feelings and analyse their context. Do you see any patterns? When analysing our emotions, It's beneficial to begin to see them in a slightly separate way. When we can almost stand outside of the feelings, we tend to gain more perspective and see them with greater understanding.
Emotions have a purpose; they are part of us
Not only do we all have emotions, and God made us in this way, our task is to ensure that feelings are seen with clarity and understanding so that they don't end up leading us into negative behaviours or overwhelming us. Emotions are not there to be squashed or completely removed; we need them; they are meant to come for a purpose and then go. Emotions form part of who we are as human beings.
Acknowledge your feelings with yourself, without judgement
Acknowledge your feelings; be honest and don't rationalise them away. Consider your reactions only and leave others to deal with their reactions.
Honestly, acknowledging what we feel is necessary and can save us time, energy and relationships. Rather than reacting, take some time to understand the feeling and then make a conscious decision on what to do with it.
Embrace practical ways to slow yourself down, and process emotions
Finally, embrace a few mindfulness relaxation techniques to slow down and give the brain space to work with the Holy Spirit in overcoming and heading towards greater maturity and growth. Sometimes, when we slow down, take a step back and look at the emotion and what's around it, it's not as tricky to gain perspective and then make intentional choices with self-control at the forefront.
If you are struggling with a particular pattern of difficult or overwhelming emotions, or you aren't sure what steps to take to deal with the overwhelm and stressors of life, then book your seat in my virtual counselling room. I'd love to help you find real, lasting solutions so that you can live with joy and purpose.