It may be true for you or someone you know, but there are obvious and not-so-obvious reasons why we accept and live with our emotional or relationship difficulties and don't seek help. So, let's have a deep look at a few of those things which hold us back.
If we struggle with long-term problems, their symptoms become part of our normal and so familiar that we don't question them. We accept anxiety and depression as part of our personalities. We call spikes in emotions; "our triggers", missing the fact that triggers indicate something lurking underneath that may not be healthy. We also have the innate ability to push down emotions and rely heavily on our coping mechanisms to maintain the status quo. We use distractions and addictions to help us feel better.
Most people find it hard to admit that we need help in our self-sufficient culture. And it is challenging to step out of our habit of self-reliance. It requires bravery, risking the feeling of exposure and choosing to trust, particularly a stranger. It challenges our fear of acceptance as well as our fear of exposure and being labelled. So, it is safer and easier to maintain our secrecy and learn to adapt.
There are practical considerations as well. It may seem like an indulgence to use discretionary funds for mental health. It is socially acceptable and normal to join a gym to improve physical health but not as much as mental health. And you risk facing comments like, "Just get over it!" or "You should pray more or spend more time in scripture." Such commentary may have its place, but it is unhelpful when you are struggling.
These are just some reasons, not an extensive list, but just to get us thinking about what holds us back from finding help. Perhaps there is, in fact, the possibility of better lives with increased peace and joy. I firmly believe we are meant for thriving lives! I think we're created for more, lives of purpose and fulfilment. Of course, no life is always perfect, and we face challenges, but if we are stagnating, why not investigate possible help?
So, what to do?
If any of this is true for you, if you have been carrying a burden for many years, or maybe it is a new problem, consider that we are not created to walk alone. We are created for community. We are designed for interaction. So perhaps to avoid burdening those closest to us, a counsellor is the next best option to walk alongside you until your feet are on solid ground again and you are thriving. Someone who has experience and training to understand all that you are going through, to help you gain perspective and will to challenge faulty thinking and help you to reframe your thoughts. It could change your life and is therefore worthy of consideration.